Posted in Faith

Wait (1)

Stay and Wait — Hillsong

Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
With the will to trust or run and hide

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on Yours

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on Yours

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I’ll never look back

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on Yours

Who lifts the poor and heals the blind
Who trampled death for all mankind
Who stands for all with arms stretched wide
My King forever Jesus Christ

———————–

This is one of my favorite songs, always reminding me that despite everything I am, I have a father who loves me and whose words I can fully rely on.

I’m working my way to a post on ‘Waiting’ and this song will provide context.

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Posted in Daily Prompt, relationship

Screen

I read what’s undoubtedly the saddest post I’ve seen in a while. A girl stuck in an arranged marriage feels sad about it. I offer her what little comfort I have, words I’m not sure can pierce through the wall of loneliness and misery she lives in now, but no less words. I can not think of anything else to give. I say am sorry she’s had to make this decision.  I’m sorry she feels… is alone. I’m sorry the people she should talk to expect her happiness. I’m sorry she has to lie everyday, wearing a screen of happiness in place of her grief.

And I remembered me not too long ago. Heart broken. Smiling. Falling apart. Laughing. Crying. Dancing. And pretending everything was well in my world when it wasn’t.

I heard of an expression in an episode of Game Of Thrones: You must master your face. Because your face can say a million things your mouth and actions aren’t saying. I can tell when a person I know is telling a lie simply by watching their facial expression. I can spot sadness in the eyes even when the lips curve in a smile.
I can because I understand that true deception lies in being the master of one’s face, so that nothing escapes.

Sometimes I am able to pull this off; other times I’m not. It all depends on how important it is for me to cloak my feelings, project a new image and sell it. Or on who I’m trying to deceive.

Why do we feel the need to act other than what our emotions dictate at a particular time?
Why do we pretend happiness when we’re not?
Why do we hide the tears and laugh when our hearts are shrinking in pain?
Why stay behind a screen and project a fluke of a life to everybody else?
Because it’s easy to assume no one cares about the way we feel?
Because we’d rather not deal with how they deal with our pain?
Because we’re scared that our grief translates to weakness?
Because even when we spend our lives searching for community, we don’t know how to open ourselves and become a part of it.

And I wish we would. I wish we’d dare to let out the sorrow and receive the help that is sure to come, because even though a million rejoice at our pain, there will be a million more who identify with it and offer comfort.

We say misery loves company; perhaps not. Misery today seems to love solitude. But company is not a bad thing, it’s what we are made to do– share our joys and share our sorrows because we are worth it. Because we deserve to receive whatever solace lies out there. Because there is no better balm for the aching heart than another heart that cradles it in love.

 

…………

DailyPost: Screen

Posted in Daily Prompt

Inevitable

There is very little inevitability in life. Death is not one of them—or at the very least I don’t think it one. Still there are situations and circumstances that invariably occur and are incapable of being avoided. These manifest themselves in varying phases of our lives, businesses and relationship with one another.

In business, we know this as truth because every firm interacts with the environment and this in itself is dynamic, ever-changing, bringing with each spin opportunities and risks. How this is managed will dictate the life and/or death of the business.

In life it manifests as choices. We say change is inevitable because man is always, at some point or the other in his life, faced with choices. We assume by rational theory that every man will choose the better circumstance, but we also have to consider other factors like behavioural patterns—for all we know he could be addicted to nicotine and smoke a ton, so we know this man will choose a cigarette, rather than none even though it could lead to an increased chance of cancer.

In our relationships we cannot refute the obvious truth that emotions and self-interests affect our desire for the next person—either in relationships of a romantic sort or just plain community. A person will by virtue of shared interests wish to be with one group of people who share similar interests, to one that doesn’t. This is in spite of another truth that man is a social being. One woman could choose to love one man who has her already emotionally vested, but that is not to say that a marriage is inevitable, because choice in itself rules out a definite future.

If we all knew exactly what tomorrow held, then we could say that our futures are already set in stone, and of course, would make the idea of living a terribly boring chore. But we don’t because every choice made is a stone cast in the river that is life, creating a ripple effect.

There is one inevitable: choice, always affected by the things we desire which changes with each change in our level of awareness.

There is one inevitable: growth, physical or emotional. It could be up and forward, or down and backward. You decide.

There is one inevitable: love, because that is what we search for at every turn. Acceptance. Community. Trust.

But death isn’t. For even when the body dies, the soul lives on. Our legacy lives on. Our name lives on. And the footprints we leave behind, like a stone cast in the river, creates a ripple in the lives of those we touched.

 

Daily Prompt