Posted in fiction

Ralia

Ralia’s problem began with the baby. Everybody might think otherwise, but Ralia knew this to be true. It all started with a bawl. The baby liked to cry a lot. He cried when feeding. He cried while playing. He cried when he was picked up by someone other his mother. And he cried some more before falling asleep, his poor little lungs exhausted. Ralia was so vexed by his constant tears she’d wondered if madam, the baby’s mother, had brought her simply for the purpose of wiping them off. It was not that he was such a bad natured kid; he was simply a bored kid. No siblings, boring toys, busy parents and a house so big the fence could block out the sun. The boy needed help and Ralia could not help him. Or so she’d thought.

One day, faced with his supercharged tear duct, Ralia had flung her hands out in exasperation and accidentally emptied a bowl of water on his head. She’d expected more bawling but surprisingly the baby quieted. He lifted one chubby palm to wipe off the water flowing down his face, perplexed and then broke out in a smile. Ralia felt like she’d won a jackpot… the baby liked water. Good, she’d give him a bath every time he let out the waterworks.

The new arrangement worked. Whenever madam left the house for work Ralia would bring out the mini-tub, fill it with water and let the baby dabble around in it until he was ready to eat or sleep. It gave her time to do other things like daydream and read her next installment of Mills and Boons without interference, till necessary. It was on one such necessities that Ralia’s problem began.

She had walked over to lift the baby out of the tub when she noticed something unusual about his anatomy. The baby’s eyes held hers glowing, his lips curved in an adorable smile. As her eyes travelled further down his torso, she discovered he had an erection. The knowledge both scared and excited her. Scared because she didn’t think little boys of three should sustain an erection; excited because she could finally see what those books talked about. Ralia reached out a finger and poked the baby’s peepee, watching his face to check for reactions. He only smiled some more. She let herself rub gently, feeling the smooth, soft expanse of skin. Madam never let her bath the baby, so this felt nice. She’d been thinking about the fine Comanche savage from her books when she heard a car door slam shut.

The next time Ralia was alone with the baby three months had passed. Madam had beaten her black and blue the other time for bathing him and made sure to register the baby at crèche the next day. She dropped him off on her way out and picked him on her way in. Ralia didn’t so much as get more than a cursory peek at the baby. It had been frustrating. Her time would come someday, she’d console herself. And soon enough it happened.

Madam received one of those urgent night calls that required her presence outside the state. So early the next morning, she’d charged Ralia with bathing the baby before dashing off to catch her flight. Ralia got the baby into the tub after he woke up and meticulously began to scrub him down. No sooner had she gotten to his legs than she noticed another erection. She flicked her finger on it and the baby chuckled. He probably thought it was playtime… maybe his mother did the same too. She flicked again and could feel him brimming with excitement. His excitement only served to fuel her excitement.
That night, alone in her room, Ralia would think of that chuckle as her fingers snuck its way under her nightgown. She decided to push the boundary the next day.

The baby remained cheerful as she gave him his bath. Today she closed her mouth over his peepee and blew on it. The baby erupted in laughter, tickled. Good, Ralia thought to herself. That night in the cover of darkness she stroked herself to sleep again. It became a daily routine with Ralia pushing the boundary a little more, until Madam returned and resumed her bathing duties. Ralia missed the baby, but now she had something to look forward to. If madam let her stay long enough, when he was older, she’d see what kind of man she could make of him.

P>S (This is largely unedited. Will do some work, possibly a rewrite later)

Posted in Writing

Colour me Iridescent

Colour me black
like a mummer’s face
shielding me with midnight’s cloak.

Colour me blue
Cool as the shade
Juggling through life, whistle and gait.

Colour me red
Fiery and hot
Senses brimming with burning passion.

Colour me white
As a graven lily
Still and fair, death’s embrace.

Colour me green
Mottled seedlings
Rising again, pinning for light.

Colour me rainbow
all life twirling
weaving through this iridescent loop.

Posted in Writing

Sweet Tomorrow

Hello tomorrow
will you be kind to
wash away my yesterday–
past wrong and shame
of wayward roads
and old mishap?

Dear tomorrow
will you fill me up—
with laughter and mirth
and dancing hours
silken dreams of
the life I need?

Sweet tomorrow
can you sing me a song
of  cheery hearts
and love
sorrow withheld
pure Joy upheld?

But if my dreams
their way to lose on
Iris trail
take my mounting fears
lay them to sweet rest
at Elpis feet.

Posted in Writing

Sprinting Love Affair

I hate to sweat

But baby we did good together

I was marred by uncertainty

Unsure if I could go the distance

But you were there

Sturdy. Steady. A reliable cushion.

Better yet because we fit so well

So I flew to that place where the world fell away

 And dreams lived

As my mind raked in our surrounding

And from now distant speakers Jessie’s Bang Bang filtered

Through the pores of my consciousness

I have always thought her a queer one

But today even the music was in perfect sync with our motion

Till your voice broke me out of my reverie …

….Go Faster

And I did…

Tuning in to the maniacal grind as we moved

Thump Thump Thump

Was that us or the music of my heart?

But baby did we dance

Until my blood grew hot

It gave me a heady feeling

…and I knew it was time

My fingers slid down the cool contour of your body

Hovered at that spot for a brief second

…and hit STOP

Well done, you crooned. Let’s do this again.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Wrote this for the love of running about two years ago. It’s literally about the relationship between the runner, the running pal (in this case Runtastic app) and the shoes 😀

Originally published here

Posted in Writing

Freedom

Freedom is a bird in flight; flapping. gliding. weightless. falling.

Freedom is a monarch butterfly; all beauty and no vanity.

Freedom is a little child; trusting. loving.

Freedom is an arm stretched wide; hopeful.

Freedom is the sun; bright. warm. golden.

Freedom is the star; far, far away. untouchable

Freedom is the moon; ever-changing. full. half. crescent.

Freedom is a Nightingale; sweet melodious strains.

Freedom is the mocking jay; teasing you.

Freedom is a soft sigh that escape your lips when no one’s listening.

Freedom is the dream you see today.

Freedom is what you wish for when you’re caged.

Posted in Musings, Writing

Trust

Someone once asked how Adam and Eve knew what to do while attempting to have sex. I said, how do new born babies know to suckle?

A few days ago at work I was attempting to sum a row of figures manually with a calculator. After minutes of mechanically punching figures, ticking cells with a pen and scrolling to the next with my finger, I paused. How exactly was I doing this again? I asked myself. What was the sequence: Did I tick first, hold down with my finger before tapping out the numbers on my calculator; or was it the number first, tick and movement with my fingers? I shuffled the various possible sequence in my mind for a while before admitting to myself I was confused and started over!

Now how often do we stop to second guess our rhythm? How often do we pause to unravel something that has worked (somehow) for so long, and then one day we try to make sense of it? If we’re unlucky we’ll totally lose it, end up confused, expend energy, waste time and start all over again. And for what really? We simply refused to trust ourselves.

There’s an obvious role the brain plays in the human body. Aside cognitive functions, it’s also responsible for muscle coordination. The human brain has been used as a blueprint for many items of modern technology, ranging from computers to memory chips. I trust my phone to vomit whatever music has been downloaded months from today. I trust my lap top to run numbers and produce answers in a matter of seconds. What this tells me is that I can also trust my brain to understand a sequence the first few seconds I initiate it AND coordinate my muscles to imitate that pattern even when my mind is tuned off.

It’s amazing how that simple, perfect function of the brain is so easily forgotten.

When I visited the town I inhabited while growing up over a decade after moving away, I wasn’t sure I’d remember my way around. I was not certain of the routes, the narrow bush paths we’d marked out as kids. I couldn’t trust myself to even locate the homes of my childhood friends. Until I stepped off the bus, tuned of my thinking cap and just moved. The result was remarkable. I remembered everything… or at least my brain did. While I obsessed over my abject lack of a sense of geography, this wonder of the human body pulled out old dusty files from the archives and simply coordinated my movement. It’s a lot like being on cruise control.

Today it’s easy to remind myself not to obsess over things and fret. There is an obvious danger in over-thinking and over-analyzing: You could lose everything. Now, I simply tune off and trust my brain to work it out.

Posted in Faith

Wait (1)

Stay and Wait — Hillsong

Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
With the will to trust or run and hide

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on Yours

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on Yours

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I’ll never look back

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on Yours

Who lifts the poor and heals the blind
Who trampled death for all mankind
Who stands for all with arms stretched wide
My King forever Jesus Christ

———————–

This is one of my favorite songs, always reminding me that despite everything I am, I have a father who loves me and whose words I can fully rely on.

I’m working my way to a post on ‘Waiting’ and this song will provide context.